Friday, June 12, 2009

God's credit crisis

It is said that Lord Balaji had to borrow millions of rupees from Lord Kubera to pay for his grand wedding many thousands of years ago.  Taking inflation into account that must be godzillions of rupees by now.  Devotees make contributions to the Lord so that he can continue to make interest payments to Lord Kubera.

Even God had to be bailed out, no wonder General Motors and Citibank need one.  It is usually the taxpayer who steps in.  Well, I take that back - once in a while a rich devotee such as Mr. Reddy makes a big donation.  A diamond studded gold crown that weighs 34 Kg and costs over 45 crore rupees (about 8 M USD).  I guess Mr. Reddy expects a ticket to heaven or wherever he thinks he will end up after his life here on earth.  What he does not realize is that he is not helping the Lord by any means.  Buying assets for a person who is in deep debt does not help that person. Will Kubera take it easy if Balaji wears a gold crown instead of making payments? It is like a homeowner in Michigan buying a Ferrari - does that make any sense to you.  Throw in the eccentricities of the commodities market and gold may not seem like a good bet if stocks start rising!

Even if we try to convince ourselves that by heaping carbon stones on God we get in his/her good books, we should not forget Economics.  Lord balaji must be cringing looking at the crown and what Mr. Kubera's reaction to the crown will be.  If you believe in God, make a cash donation - so that it will get used in some public works project and at least go to Kubera's coffers and make the Lord's life easier.

Disclaimer: I am an atheist falling off a cliff and therfore have no interest in the credit score of any person real or fictional mentioned in this blog post. 

Thursday, June 11, 2009

A not so forgetful past

I graduated from IIM Lucknow and I am proud of it. Whenever someone asks me where I got my MBA, I don't say India and neither do I say IIM - I make it a point to say IIM Lucknow. A recent email on our IIM alumni list motivated this post. A guy who graduated a long tiem ago from IIML was appointed as a Senior VP or something at a US firm and he forwarded the press release to the IIM L alumni list. However, this press release said his MBA was from Darden and never mentioned IIM L. I was wondering why in the hell did he post it on the list and another alumnus popped the question on the list :)

I have known a number of people who get an MBA from one of the IIMs and for whatever personal reasons decide to pursue another MBA from one of the top US schools. I don't have a problem with that, but being an alumnus of one of the IIMs I feel sorry for the person who tries to hide the previous MBA, particularly if it is from an IIM.

I had exhilarating fun when I was a student at IIM L. I think I met some of the brightest of minds including Abhijit Rey, Jayarama Krishnan, Shashank Rathi, Puneet Satyawadi, Rohit Sood, Rahul Jain, and Niraj Kumar Singh, just to mention a few. I also met some of the most balanced people including Neeraj Aggarwal, Gautam Mehrotra, and Akhila Patlolla, among others. And there are many such Raghu who will probably remain friends for life. IIM L offered me a chance to interact with these guys and learn from them. IIM L offered me a direction in my life, an ambition and a purpose. I cannot imagine people can spend two years of their life at aninstitution such as an IIM and not credit it for who they are. IIM L shaped who I am right now and offered me two of the best years in my life. If there is anything I have accomplished in my life, I would credit it to the two years that I spent at IIM Lucknow. I don't feel sorry for those who try to forget such a wonderful past.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Solving problems is easy : Watch Telugu Cinema

Yes, I figured it out.  There is a very easy way to solve all the world's tyranny and corruption.  It was in front of my eyes all along, being shown day in
and day out in the hundreds of movies that Telugu Cinema churns out every year - beat up the bad guys! It is that simple.

I have been blessed with the privilege of having access to three telugu channels off late - Maa, Gemini and Teja.  They once again reminded me that, tyranny, corruption and the set of similar problems that plague a country like India are very easy to resolve - just beat up the bad guy or even better make him meet St. Peter.

I can understand if a movie made generation ago or maybe a few movies relied on this ending - but every movie?  It amazes me that today's producers have innovated nothing. They just continue to produce the same movies with the same story line - a boy, a girl, a father, some evil, fights, an item number and then the climax.

Evil gets beat up quite often and hold on, the hero somehow as superhuman powers and can beat up over a thousand guys without tiring.  The race now is to film a fight sequence where the hero beats up over a million guys? I am kidding, but they all seem to take inspiration from Neo.

A second favorite peeve apart from the superhuman powers of the male character - the female lead is a dumb, stupid lass who is only alive to admiringly look at the make lead and imagine getting wet in the rain where she can then take off her clothes. In addition, the number of female leads who can even dub their own voices hovers around zero most of the time.  If I close my eyes and watch a movie, they all sound like Aarti Aggarwal to me. Well, she was the first actress who got the now famous dubbing artist's voice.

And yes, there is a bad local policeman who will turn up at all possible scenes where the presence of police is required.  I almost forgot - there is a villain who relocates to a different city in the past and has a chela who runs the evil deals in hyderabad.

What is going on?  The only thing that sustains this never ending stream of stupid, dumb movies is the stupidity of the audience. I guess, they deserve this nonsense.

What does the future hold for avid telugu cinema fans - more dumb lasses all with Aarti's voice, more telugu heroes beating up even more extras in a single fight scene, more dads wantign to destroy their girl child's love interests and more villains who have relocated to calcutta.